You have a lover? It's got me frubbly


THEY believe in free love and multiple relationships, but not casual sex, and enjoy feeling 'frubbly' - and, yes, it's an American thing.

Devotees of 'polyamory'- the latest social phenomenon to cross the Atlantic-have relationships that are wide open. But despite having numerous partners, 'polyamorists' are emotionally committed and do not cheat, The lifestyle is so unconventional it has acquired its own unique vocabulary, according to psychologist Dr Meg Barker. 'Frubbly' describes the positive feeling of seeing your partner with another lover. 'It's the opposite of jealousy,' said Dr Barker, from London South Bank University. Low-key jealousy is feeling 'wibbly', she added. 'This is a positive way to have more than one relationship,' said Dr Barker. 'It's definitely growing in the UK.'

Dr Barker, 30, is a polyamorist herself, having two 'main' partners and two others who she sees regularly. Each pair consists of a man and a woman. Her social life revolves around a circle of friends who are also polymorists.. 'Polyamory is the belief that  it's acceptable or even ideal to bgv· than one loving or sexual partner,' she said. 'There's an emphasis on the recognition of multiple important relationships - it's not about casual sex' Polyamory was first explored in science-fiction writer Robert Heinlein's novel Stranger In A Strange Land in the 1970s, said Dr Barker. A number of people began experimenting with it at that time. But it really took off in the 1990s with the growth of the Internet. A search for the word polyamory on Google produces more than 170,000 links on theWeb.

[Metro Apr4,2005]

DOUBLE STANDARDS
So,polyamorous people are emotionally committed and do not cheat on their partners (Metro Mon).They are undoubtedly cheating themselves because a relationship is not about emotional commitment,rather it is about moral commitment.Lastly,that they believe in free love and multiple relationships but not casual sex is the best oxymoron of the decade.
Rajesh Kandadai,London TW3
[Metro Apr 5,2005]

Sex clinics turn away hundreds of patients

BY SARAH GETTY

HIV Bug:A third of patients waited more than two weeks to be tested for the virusTWO-THIRDs of sexual health clinics in England had to turn away patients in the past year, campaigners said yesterday.
It meant many people did not have immediate access to tests and treatment, a survey by charities found.
Sexual health services were still a priority for NHS trusts, even though numbers of infected people were growing, the charities said.
The Terrence Higgins Trust, the British HIV Association and Providers of Aids Care and Treatment questioned almost 70 sexual health clinicians and 47 health trusts in England for their survey.
They found that almost two-thirds of those seeking treatment - while more than half said their ability to provide services had become worse in the past year.
Waiting times were also too long, they added, with one in five patients waiting a month for an STI test. A third waited more than two weeks for an HIV test.
Now, the charities are calling on the NHS to give more priority to sexual health problems.
They are alarmed that almost a third of tests do not include sexual diseases in their plans and-despite rising numbers of patients - half did not aim to raise sexual health spending.
However, extra government cash for for genito-urinary medicine has had a positive effect.

Lisa Power, head of policy for the Terrence Higgins Trust said :"Where Government money is getting through, matters are improving. But too often trust managers are failing take sexual health seriously.'
The Department of Health said the charities' survey was small only 15 per cent of trusts.A spokeswoman said: 'Tackling the rise in STIs is a Government priority and that is why we have just invested an extra £300 million on sexual health.
[Metro Apr4,2005]